Corruption+in+Student+Government

The following is a news article dated in the future about Michael Remington's bid for the school presidency. This bid is outlawed by the Student Council Constitution and is merely a protest of their corrupt ways.

CORRUPTION IN STUDENT GOVERNMENT By Chris Kuech It has long been the assumed view of the student body that the Student Council is a pointless waste of school finances. However, this is not the case. The truth is, student council has several responsibilities—to organize school dances, to facilitate charitable fundraisers, and to ensure their own special interest candidate gets reelected as president of the student body.

The student council has long kept their unpublicized stance of not taking action on school issues. Come election time, the student council uses its own ineffectiveness as the only hot-button issue. This cycle has been going round since the dawn of the student council. Its so called “advising the school board” is merely a joke to make the more ambitious student council officials feel more welcome, when in actuality, it is all but a scheme to make their résumés all the more flashy. In order to enforce their fascist agenda, the student council wrote and passed their own constitution—a constitution which would make it mandatory for the presidential candidates to be student council members. In this way, they are ensuring that their small group of people maintains a strong, unquestioned grip on the masses. If this isn’t the definition of fascism, I don’t know what is.

In 2007, we saw our first Martin Luther, a man who would rise up and nail the proclamation of tyranny to the doors of the student council. His name was Patrick G. and he had made his bid for the presidency. It was a long fight and ended with a landslide vote in favor of Mr. G. However, the next day, we were all surprised to hear Benny’s victory over the loudspeaker. We were all shocked and speechless except the rookie student council members explaining that since Patrick was not a member of their elite group, he could not be elected president under the conditions set forth by their constitution, and thus, all the write-in votes of the school were merely thrown out. Little did those squealing student council members know, they had leaked a conspiracy to their subjects.

Since Patrick G.’s historical bid, some student council has since made some reform to prevent protest; including a blank space on the ballot to give your support for your own write-in candidate and a stamp of approval from the office on all posters so that the next proclaimed illegitimate candidate’s posters can be easily distinguished and quickly removed before the candidate gains momentum. However, these changes are merely to hide the fact that, write-in or not, the candidate must still be a member of the student council.

In that same year, one of the world’s greatest chess players, holder of a number of international titles, ran for the presidency of Russia. This man’s name was Gary Kasparov. As a child, he grew up in Azerbaijan, then a state of the Soviet Union. He grew up watching the repression of the communist system and its poverty inducing toll. The competitive, nationalistic spirit of the cold war would likely have driven Gary into a high intensity government training program reminiscent of //Rocky IV//. This training program would launch him into the public eye with his shocking victory after victory. Eventually, Kasparov retired from the glamorous world of chess and joined the communist party. As a party member, he was now qualified to run for public office. After the fall of the Soviet Union, Kasparov joined the newly formed Democratic Party. The fall of communism should have been a happy milestone in Russian history, had it not been a lie. The “democracy” was merely a front to the same old communist tricks. Feeling no other choice, Gary Kasparov was forced to run for President. He knew full well and publicly stated that he had no chance of winning, not because he lacked the ability to gain the popular vote, but because the current manifestation of the KGB would bar him from campaigning the first chance they had. And Kasparov was right. He could not find a singly convention center in all of Russia that would allow him and his mere 500 devoted followers to congregate for a campaign rally. It is clear that no convention center was discriminating against him because of their own interest in watching him fail, but because the KGB would not allow a person who believed in true democracy to gain momentum and perhaps even win the election. Eventually, he was imprisoned along with his fellow protesters ensuring an unquestionable victory for the KGB. Nonetheless, Gary Kasparov stood for something. He opened the eyes of the world to the corruption of Russia.

Earlier this year, a club under the pseudonym of “Current Events Club” (actually the Workers of West Club) planned a fight by legal means to give the Student Council meaning. Each week they met behind closed doors adorned with a “McCain - Palin” yard sign to ward off innocent civilians who might otherwise wander into the room. Behind these closed doors, the clandestine group planned their bids to be Student Council Representatives. Having a majority in the government, they would then use their powers to give Student Council importance and a function. I sat in on one of these meetings before a rendezvous with my counselor. Ears open, I took in all my surroundings. “I asked Runqi what student Council actually does and she didn’t directly say ‘nothing’ but she pretty much meant ‘nothing’,” said the leader of this group, who asked that his name and the others not be released to the public. He then proceeded to say that the number of members in the organization was enough to complete the petitions and gain a simple majority in the Student Council.

Though, like all major effective civil movements—women’s suffrage, the African-American Civil Rights movement—the Student Council Reform movement had a legitimate face and a radical face. The legitimate face being the Current Events Club, gaining a majority in the Student Council by legal means, and the radical face being until recently non-existent. It has come to the point where no one but the Student council can deny that we need another Gary Kasparov. I have watched the political scene at west high prepared to report, and it is only now that news has come; news of a new leader. From the ashes of Patrick G.’s corrupt defeat, this man rose up like a phoenix. He learned to flap his scarlet wings and fly from the legendary example of Gary Kasparov, and now he soaring. This man’s name is Michael Remington. Michael’s political career has virtually matched that of Kasparov’s. As a motivated student, Michael joined the West High chapter of the communist party known as Workers of West Club (since disbanded) as to continue his political career. He has since crossed party lines, joining the West High Young Democrats, though he still maintains a strong endorsement from the Bolsheviks. Days ago, Michael announced his candidacy, but like that of Kasparov’s, he knew he had no chance at victory. His only motivation is to uncover the corruption instigated by student council. A true hero is someone who goes so far out of their way to do a selfless deed that the aided feels the helper deserves excessive amounts of praise. If this is true, then Michael Remington is by all means a hero. In an interview only several hours after he announced his candidacy, he said, “rights are not worth having if you are not willing to die for them…it seems as though the majority of people at our school just aren’t willing to die for the rights taken by Student Council. They are young and innocent and are ignorant to the importance of their rights…if they don’t know what it means to be free, I guess I am the only one who can truly fight for justice.” These are true and heartfelt words. I ask you now to listen to the words of this great man and vote for Michael Remington for Student Body President. If come the day after the election and Michael Remington’s victorious name does not ring through the halls from loudspeaker, then I urge every single one of you to take to the halls in protest.